The Voices of Carers

My Husband…

After my Husband had a Brain injury and was discharged from Hospital I felt that I was on my own and no body wanted to know. I was told in the Hospital that the District Nurse would call but nobody called. The only person I could call on was my G.P. I had three small children and they lost their father and could not understand what was happening.

We were dealing with a completely different person to the person we knew before his accident. I had to give up my job to look after him and I never knew about Carers Allowance or any other entitlements until I attended a meeting of the Galway Head Injury Support Group I saw advertised in the paper. It was at this meeting that people shared their experiences, my husband and my self felt that he was not the only person with a brain injury.

My Brother….

My brother suffered many injuries including a serious head injury in a fall while holidaying abroad. His memory was badly affected. Initially his memory and mobility were our main concerns. We had no idea of what was ahead of us or what we should do for him. When he was discharged from hospital we were told the community physiotherapist, occupational therapist and district nurse would regularly call to see him and assist him. This never happened. No professional ever contacted us. We contacted the National Rehabilitation Hospital ourselves in order to get him treated there. The consultant he was under in hospital in Galway wouldn’t do it. We found that most consultants/doctors would not bother to liase with their colleagues in other areas and would only deal with their area of speciality. This we found to be most frustrating as neither I nor any of my family has any medical training whatsoever and as a result didn’t really know what we should be asking for or insisting on.

My brother progressed well physically but his memory was slow to improve. This led him to suffer from depression, which in turn led to alcohol abuse. We soon found out that our brother was a very different person and we found this extremely hard to cope with. We spent our lives wishing and hoping for the old person back. Friends and relatives were great initially but this began to change, as no one knew how to deal with him and no one had any idea what we were going through. People felt awkward about our situation and would avoid talking about him. He would be very quiet for weeks on end and would barely respond. Regularly, he would get annoyed with us and would flare up and walk out of the house. He also became violent which broke our hearts, as we had never seen anything of this nature in our home. We had no one to turn to in order to get him the help and treatment he needed.

However, we as a family became aware of the Galway Head Injury Support Group and attended many meetings. We found this to be invaluable as we met others who had suffered head injuries and their carers. Not only were we able to share our experiences and know that we were not alone, we were able to attend counselling provided by the group. We found this extremely beneficial as it gave us a better understanding of head injuries and how they can affect people differently and their families. We also learnt better ways to cope and deal with a person with a head injury. The group also had regular guest speakers giving information on entitlements and alternative treatments available which was very useful. We saw that we were not the only ones that didn’t know our entitlements. Overall, we feel that the support group meetings have been wonderful and allowed us an opportunity where we could easily talk to others who would understand what we were going through when no one else did.